A New Year's Determination!

I don't know whether I have mentioned this before, but I want to be an actress. It's my goal in life. It probably always will be. There is nothing that I want more. I dream about it, I daydream about it, I go to sleep thinking about it and wake up thinking about it.

But in order to become the actress I am destined to be, I need to be healthy.

And I have never been so determined in my whole life to act, and equally I have never been so determined to do this (get healthy). I will succeed. I will be healthy.

How this came about:

Well the other day I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a striking resembelance to a baby hippo.

Sounds a lot like an overstatement, but seriously I do.

And when you start to look like a baby hippo, you've got to think about taking a step away from the direction you are headed in (full grown hippo and a lot of health issues).

How in the hell can I expect the world to let me take the stage and perform in front of people, when all I am going to be doing is setting a bad example of health (and disgusting myself in the process)?

It's not right for unhealthy to be the norm or accepted. I don't mean that you should shun the overweight, but I do mean that it shouldn't be right for people like me to be role models for the next generation.

I know that for myself, as much as anyone else, I cannot succeed in my goals the way I am right now.

The Past:

Sigh, I've always been big. Not terribly large, but wobbling around the high end of healthy, low end of overweight sort of area.

I've always been conscious of my body. I suppose it never helped that I was one of those geeky loner kids. Don't get me wrong, I had plenty of friends. Just I preferred alone time, which obviously made me a target for negative comments. Nasty, horrid words that never truly go away.

And so, many times before I've tried to lose weight. I've changed my diet, stepped up my exercise, and lost some weight. But it's always bounced back.

The Revelation:

It's only now that I think I know where I've been going wrong all this time - I've been too preoccupied with trying to get thin quickly to be patient and look at the bigger picture. 

I'm not a patient person. I don't like waiting around. So everytime I think "I will do this!", I get put off after a week or two when I don't see any results.

And that's when I tend to result to desperate measures.

Do you know that when you don't eat for 3 days while still walking 4 miles each day, going to school and doing your weight training in the evenings, you tend to faint? Well I do.

The Determination:

And that's why this time I will get healthy in the right way. I will take my time and get fit not thin.

Because what I have realised is that size doesn't matter, but health does.

And if your size is affecting your health then that's a problem.

The Blogs:

So I want to mention a couple of things. There is a blog called "Bloggers Go Skinny" run by Sophia from Tattooed Tealady and Sandra from The Black Pearl Blog. They are both on their own journey to get fit and healthy with the help of other bloggers, and to inspire others on their way.

It's a really nice blog. You should check it out even if you don't feel the need to lose any weight: it'd be nice to show some support for the girls!

I suppose this is where I should mention Sandra (from The Black Pearl Blog)'s giveaway. She has been picked to be a judge on moneysupermarket.com' s "Get fit, Feel epic" competition. If you follow the link you can see how much money you could save by cutting down on junk food, cigarettes and alcohol. Interesting!

I don't know why it's taken me so long to make a post about my weight and getting healthy, as it's always been something at the front of my mind and there is such a big support network out there. I suppose I'm just a little shy and nervous on how people will respond. But it's about time that I get my arse in gear and do something about it. And how better than to tell the world "I can do this!"?

I think I could write so much more about my weight and my past and fitness, but I think I should end this here. I will keep you up to date with my progress though. And I promise that my next post will be nicer. Or at least more makeup/blog related. =]

Love B xxxxx